What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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