I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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