Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
