I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
