my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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