i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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