If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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