I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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