first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Boobs speak an international language.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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