you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I need to sanitize my soul.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
