I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
