I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
