if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
