Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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