I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
