I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
