Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
