you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
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I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Drake has all the answers
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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