Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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