12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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