who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
