You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize