thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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