The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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