drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
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I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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