so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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