Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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