I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
