btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
