then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
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It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
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Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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