i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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