We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
