Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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