fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
