im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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