sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You pole danced in your parka.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
