When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
