I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
