pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
