is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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