Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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