I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
