Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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