This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My vagina just clenched in fear
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
