It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
