what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
