Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize