omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The air taste purple.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
