R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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