My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
