would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
