You really coming over, don't trick.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
