I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
