if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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