chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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