Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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