My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
