so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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